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TIPS AND REMINDERS ON: HOW TO BE A REAL COOL LADY
Category: Life

Some knowledge for that ass!

7 TIPS AND REMINDERS ON: HOW TO BE A REAL COOL LADY

7 TIPS AND REMINDERS ON: HOW TO BE A REAL COOL LADY

Number One: TRUST YOUR INSTINCT

If you think its a good idea, it probably is.

If you don't want to get dressed, DON'T.

Wear your bathrobe to the bank,

it will feel just as great as you had expected.

If you would like to dress up as a religious refugee

and set up a fortune telling stand in your car,

you should.



Because why shouldn't you?



If people stare it's because

they have nothing better to do

and their lives are more empty

than you had previously thought.



Be charitable and feel bad for them.



Pretend that you are in a dream

and that they are your estranged father.

Remember, a Real Cool Lady is happy with herself

and doesn't need to judge others.





NUMBER TWO: THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS FAILURE

If it turns out to be a bad idea, it's ok.

You're allowed to make a mistake...

ONCE.



For instance,

painting the living room a putrid shade of green

is a mistake.



If there is no lesson to be learned other than

"I should have known better"

than you have commited a "mistake."



If you sorely regret something based upon your actions

and will never do it again,

it is called a "learning process."

So don't paint your living room drunk,

but if you do,

don't ever do it again.

Always remember that you are in progress.



NUMBER THREE: YOU ARE WONDERFUL
Don't ever settle for someone
because you're bored and lonley.
Remember, your company is prefered among all,
and it is Your prefered company as well.


If it's Friday night
and the only person you can find to hang out with
is the kid who writes songs about pot,
do yourself a favor:
Go to bed and read a book.
You will learn more and suffer less.



If you haven't had sex in 6 months,
do not date the first half-what
decent looking guy who gives you his number.
It was not an "instant connection",
it was hormones.

Hanging out at a gas station

does not make him a "rebel"

and hearing all about how great he is

doesn't make him "great".



If he's not calling you back now

he never will,

and if he we won't stop calling now

he's probably a stalker.

There is a prince out there for you,

and you will live happily ever after.

But first,

break out of that "phase of enchantment"

and see him for what he really is:

A frog in a Metallica shirt.

Remember,

you are wonderful.








NUMBER FOUR: SELF-PRESERVATION IS KEY



Be kind, but don't be stupid.



Give the bum on the corner a dollar

but don't invite him over to your house

and cook him dinner.



People lie, and

"stuff like that"

will happen to you.



You can still be optimstic and think,

"Maybe he's saving his money to buy

a book on money mangement

so he can better his living situation."



You can even believe

that the well-dressed man in the library

really is your future husband.



But don't invite him to your apartment

until you really know

for sure.

You deserve to Respect and Protect yourself.

NUMBER FIVE: KEEP THE FAITH

You are A Real Cool Lady

and you know it.

If you know it,

everyone else knows it, too.

Everything you say

is exactly what you're supposed to say,

no matter what it is.

If you think your outfit is terrible,

you're probably wrong.

Whatever you wear is Real Cool.

It's your authenticity,

your honesty and sincerety,

that makes you so awesome.

So laught at your own corny jokes.

It's endearing.

Rest assured that the people who matter

really will love you

for the Real Cool Lady that you are.

NUMBER SIX: LAY IT DOWN
Stop feeling guilty.
You shouldn't be doing anything that requires it.

You treat everyone with the respect

that you would expect.

Guilt just makes you heart shrink and your wrinkles grow:

Why are you worrying?

Either you can change it, or you can't.

Accept what Is,

and live your life

with the vitality that you are meant to.

Forgive yourself and you will be forgiven.

NUMBER SEVEN: ACT LIKE A REAL COOL LADY
Drinking out of a beercan is tacky,

and not in a cool way.

I would advise that you never do it.

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